Allison Williams: The flawless and only reason that I watch Girls. She’s just…so pretty. If I wasn’t put off by vagina, I guess I would like to do heterosexual things to it. I can’t get specific. I’ve never seen one up close.

Today I was on iTunes browsing for some new podcasts to listen to. “What’s a podcast,” you may ask. Bitch, please I do not have the time.

I was in the comedy section, and there I find a podcast called Throwing Shade. Sold. I don’t even need to know what it’s about.

So the hosts of the podcast were talking about an article from Slate called Is Rachel Dratch too ugly for Hollywood? It’s written by a deplorable slag called Torie Bosch. I’m not going to link to it, because as I commented she is a DEPLORABLE SLAG.

The article got me thinking: when was the last time I called someone ugly? I couldn’t recall, and I think it’s simply because I don’t besmirch people on their physical looks.

Don’t get me wrong. I can be such a cunt. Some of the things that I say can be quite vicious and degrading. However none of my degradations are based on physicality.

I will read a bitch for their fashion choices. I will throw shade at someone for being a lummox. I will call your ass out for being a promiscuous gutter-butt. None of which are formed on someone’s beauty, gender, sexual orientation, race, or age.

I may be a nasty twat, but I don’t make fun of people for the things they cannot change! I choose to be mean about other people’s behavior. Is it wrong? Yeah, probably. Yet I feel like it isn’t as bad as making fun of someone for the way they were born.

Betty Boo is constipated. Meh.

Girl, preach!

I’m not sure if Saturday Night Live was really good this week, or if the rest of the season sucked and this weeks episode was far better by comparison, but on it’s own merely adequate.

Regardless The Californians sketch had me dying. If laughs were pizza, SNL was delivering like Dominoes.

PUT HIS GLASSES ON! HE WAS GOING TO BE AN ACROBAT.

Berating Betsy: Part One - My Girl

My friend Betsy is only 10 months younger than me, but knows nothing of pop culture 90s to present. She’s constantly upsetting me with her bewilderment, which typically ends with me scolding her. It’s not a healthy friendship. Especially when I go out of my way to ask questions that I already know how she’s going to answer.

Tough. As. Nails.
Love her.

Here’s the thing about Cabaret. I’ve seen the movie. If I could just watch the parts with Liza (with an Z) talking, I would be obsessed.

Look, bitch I’m not going to sit here and lie. “Cabaret” “Maybe This Time” and “Money” are all on my Musical playlist (yes, I have one of those, as every decent gay man should).

Sometimes I sing showtunes to my dog, Amos and “Cabaret” is one of them.

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Throwback Thursday: GET. THE FUCK. UP. [Video]

Viva Tanisha, work work work.

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Latrice Royale’s Highlights | If you don’t watch this show, you need to.

Funny ass hippo-teeth bitch. I love her!

This one time someone tried to take my dragons, and I was like “NO!” I bet you dollars to doughnuts that was the last time they tried to mop someone’s dragons. Sho’ nuff.